I’ve been talking with women who I find fascinating about how they have people in their life who say “you can’t achieve that, you’ll fail if you try” when in reality they are women who are completely capable of doing whatever they set their mind to.
It can be so difficult coming to terms with the thought of valued friends and family not supporting you in your dreams – whether those dreams be running your own business, continuing education, career development, expanding personal interests, anything that can and will cause change.
Change can be a very challenging thing. I know I’m not the best with it and need time to adjust. And that’s fine. Everyone has their own pace.
But part of loving and caring for each other is growth and change. Some family members particularly fear us failing and being hurt by our experiences and that’s why they don’t want us trying new things. It is their love for us that causes their fears for us getting hurt.
Talk with them, explain how you’re big enough to dust yourself off if you do stumble sometimes. Find out what they are scared of and value their love for you and support them in turn.
Some family and friends have their personal definition based on where others are ranked within the social structure – the established pegging order. If they see you moving out of the box they have you in then that’s challenging, that’s change they are not ready for. So they’ll try to keep the status quo. Talk with them, work on the relationship, find what is best for both of you.
This is where we have to grow ourselves and communicate with them rather than being defensive. Find out what is the real reason for their behaviour and work from there.
When we make change in our life we also make change in the lives of others. If we want them to be part of our life then we need to also respect their needs and help them when they need it with accepting change.
Talking with an open and trusting heart is the best way to help our loved ones to share their fears and challenges with us. This isn’t always easy to do but it has such amazing results.
Keep in mind that what might suit your timing may not suit their timing. If you want them to come along this journey with you they will most likely travel at a different pace.
Some people will be left behind. Sometimes that is the best solution. Your paths may cross in the years to come, or not. Keep in mind that burning bridges can bring immediate satisfaction but it isn’t always the best for yourself or your future endeavours, your business or your loved ones.
So don’t let yourself be held back by others. Talk with them, find out what is concerning them and work with them, bring them along on your sea change journey so you can celebrate the achievements together! It is worth the effort.