The Value of Support
I’ve been looking round my life and thinking how lucky I am to have what I have and who I have in it.
I have a little flat, which is normally messy (my excuse being I’m working on the business – jewellery, website, parties, markets etc but the truth is I’m not very good at being neat).
I have a supportive and loving family, I have friends who believe in me and listen to me be delighted in what’s happening and to my self-doubts about making my big dreams into reality and I have good self-esteem.
Having listen on the radio this week to all that is being said about White Ribbon day – preventing violence against women – I’ve been realising what it takes to have the self-confidence and self-esteem to bring positive change into your life.
A big part of it is having support from your loved ones, your family and friends.
Yes, I have friends who didn’t think I could do what I’m doing, I even have market friends who are continually surprised by how the business is growing but the people who are closest to me and who I value the most have always shown complete support and faith in me.
And that’s the secret key to it. Openly support and keep faith in those about you. It doesn’t matter if they are talking pies in the sky, if they are stuck in a rut and don’t even know it, are reaching out there to create something, are striving to bring positive change into their life – just support them.
Tell your friends and family why you admire them; why you like them, why you want them in your life.
If you’ve been thinking good things about them and haven’t told them, tell them. I remember the kind and supportive compliments I receive and they still make me smile.
When I’m having my challenging days (and we all have them – you know, when nothing is going right) I have my little ways of looking after myself like singing to favourite CD’s and having a little laugh at myself but also remembering what my supportive friends and family say.
I’ve even learnt to call on my friends to help me move out of my mood. (That one is a big achievement for independent me!).
This week I was talking to a girlfriend I met at market who is getting out there with her husband and creating quality baby DVD’s – Babyblinks.com- and the mutual support we were giving each other made such a difference to both of us.
We both know what it is to create a business from scratch and build it up. Both of us wouldn’t swap it for anything but we both have a successes and our times of perseverance, of tenacity.
It is the loving support of a friend saying “yep, it’s hard but you’re doing really well. How can I help?”
Helping can be as simple as a phone call saying I’m thinking of you, sending a card saying go for it, giving a bunch of flowers or even going into a shop you think would be good for her product where it would be a win/win and telling them about your friend’s product and creating demand for it.
Support comes in all manner of ways. It isn’t about saying “don’t do that” or “you can’t do that” – it is about talking and listening, exploring and caring. So what if we fall flat on our faces sometimes? Support is also helping to pick us up, brushing off the dust, sharing a cup of coffee and listening. There is no “I told you so” in support. There is listening without judgement.
This is true too for our loved ones who are in unhealthy relationships – listen to them. Let them know they have a safe harbour with you that is non-judgemental.
If they need a physical escape find out about shelters. Call the RSPCA (animal shelter) about a temporary home for animals who might be threaten so they can be safe during the period of transition. Find out about counsellors – get a list together so the right one can be found. Bringing information and solutions to hand helps with making hard decisions that can be very frightening.
Be part of the solution.
When we are confident creatures we tend to forget how hard it can be to do things that terrify us. So remember to be supportive, listen and be non- judgemental about our loved ones who need us to be part of their solution. Remember, you can’t rescue anyone but you can be helpful, supportive.
I believe we all need supportive family and friends. I believe we all need to offer support to our family and friends – not to rescue them but to love them better.
So do something to bring positive change into daily life today – tell someone today that you are proud of them, that you love them, admire them, are there to listen and have a coffee (or pot of tea) with them. You’ll see the difference it makes!