Friends In Deed

Know someone in crisis? Here are a few pointers about what people appreciate when the chips are down.

1. Give of your time. Just being present as a sounding board for friends in crisis can be a godsend… provided you’ve called first to ensure it’s a good time to be popping in.

2. Get practical. If you’re a whiz in the kitchen, drop by with some soups, stews or home-cooked meals; if not, join the hospital ferrying roster list, or offer to baby-sit the children – just do something useful that comes naturally to you.

3. Take care of the carer. One of my friends is a masseur who offered weekly massages to a sick friend’s mother to keep her from falling ill herself. Remember that people tend to overlook the stresses and anxieties that also befall those who look after loved ones.

4. Coordinate a group effort. If you talk to other friends and family members about what they’re doing, you can avoid duplication and coordinate your approach. That way, 12 people don’t ring on a daily or weekly basis; instead, a smaller team disseminates the necessary information! One person can take charge of producing and distributing a weekly electronic newsletter … if that appeals to the person in crisis.

5. And when in doubt… say it with flowers. No bad ever came from too many kind thoughts or thoughtful deeds. So if you’re feeling helpless, write a little note, sprinkle some potpourri in the envelope and deliver your missive posthaste. Throw in a nosegay of bedside violets .. and cheer up what could be another difficult day for your family member or friend.

From the Pink magazine by the
National Breast Cancer Foundation

This wonderful and practical list of ways to look after your loved ones when difficult times come is taken directly from the National Breast Cancer Foundation‘s magazine “Pink”.

I found it to be so spot on with its advice that I wanted to share it with you. I know how challenging and difficult the feeling of helplessness and the inability to “fix it” can be. The lessons in being their for your loved ones in hard times can be deep and life changing but the process is often simply a daily one with daily actions.

If I was to add another point to this excellent list it would be constancy. Be constant in your support, let your loved one be able to rely on you because you are constant. This doesn’t have to be about being there every day but rather keeping your word, showing your caring support regularly.

So how do you get your copy of Pink? Simply check out your local newsagency or visit the National Breast Cancer Foundation and order online!